So, I am having some issues at work and let me tell you – there is nothing like getting completely blindsided with a punishment in an area you thought you were doing well in. Also, being held to a different (much higher) level of standards than my peers – and then getting in trouble when those standards are met… wtf? I want to rant and rave and cry and scream – and in fact, I have done all of those things in the last two days. Right now I am in a state of Xanax laden anger. So I’m super pissed, but at least it’s somewhat numb. Anyway, There is no way that I can spew forth everything that happened in an unprotected blog post. I will be posting in depth what actually happened, but it will be a password protected post. If you are interested in reading it, please ask me for the password. If I trust you I will give it to you.

My ASL teacher responded to my video yesterday with a video of her own! I’m not gonna lie, it took me about 7 tries before I realized what she was saying in the second half… Part of it I think is that her “P” looked suspiciously like a “Q,” but she’s the expert, not me! Anyway… here is her response – see if you can figure out what she says!

As I mentioned in my facebook a few days ago, I have decided to take an Intro to ASL (American Sign Language) class on Ureddit.com. My class started this week – it includes a few online instructional videos, some practice, and some assignments. I’ve decided to post my assignments online because – well – it took me awhile to make the video and if I don’t post it for you then the teacher is the only one who will see it. I got to crack open my movie making software and I learned tonight that my webcam sucks the big one – at least in lamp light it does. I will try again in the daylight and if it still sucks I guess I can figure out how to use my phone instead. I hesitate to buy a nice webcam for this purpose since I am only making 12 videos.

So, lesson #1 was letters and numbers. We learned how to finger-spell the alphabet and we learned numbers from 1 to 1,000,000,000. For those of you who have learned how to finger-spell ASL, see if you can pick out what I am saying here. The first one to get it right gets internet cookies from me!

My son and I watched the first episode of Stephen Hawking’s “Curiosity.” It was about the origins of the universe and in the show Stephen Hawking blatantly states that the universe was created without the need for a God or gods. I was interested to see how my son would respond since he is a self proclaimed Christian. So, at the end of the show I asked Seth what he had learned.

“I learned that there is no God,” he said. “But I still believe in Him anyway.”

I thought it was so cute, it melted my heart a little bit. I told him he can believe in God all he wants.

You know, the other day I had a whole post thought out. It was interesting, clever, funny… and then I got pissed at Keith and posted about that instead. And now I can’t even remember what it is I was going to post about in the first place. I said I was going to write about what had been going on in my life, but that has mainly consisted of eating popsicles and reading Reddit.com so I’m not sure what else I can say about that really.

So – after deciding to send me random, nasty text messages for a few days, Keith has decided that it’s OK to be friends again. He messaged me on Facebook the other day asking me to call him. He also attempted to add me back to Facebook as a friend. Well, for some reason I haven’t been getting my message notifications through Facebook, so I didn’t even see his message until a good 7 hours after he sent it. It wouldn’t have mattered if I did see it in time – I still wouldn’t have answered him. You know – you don’t blow up on me, tell me I’m a bad friend, delete me from Facebook for no damn reason and then turn around a week later and decide everything is fine. I’m sorry, but I missed the part where he actually fucking apologized to me. Perhaps a message saying “Sorry for the blowout, can you please call me so we can talk?” or “I don’t want to lose you as a friend, let’s work it out.” would have me re-thinking my decision to cut him out of my life. But a Facebook message saying “Call me”? I don’t think so. I’m not exactly sure what he expects from me, but sure as hell know what I expect from him if we are ever going to speak again. And I still don’t get this “you have to call me or it doesn’t count” bullshit. Does he have a damn phone, or not? Dumb, childish drama. Not needed and not welcome. In fact, this is how I feel about the whole damn mess:

You know, I had a whole post in mind about what’s going on in my life and whatnot, but I just got sidetracked by this silly garbage. I don’t want to post about two completely different subjects in one entry, so I will save the other stuff for a different day.

I’ve gone my whole life without ever “breaking up” with a friend. Now here I am, breaking up with two in the space of a couple of months. (To be fair, I never really liked the first friend all that much. You can read about that breakup right here.)

I met Keith when I was 21. I was the maid of honor in a friend’s wedding, he was the best man. We hit it off at the wedding and became instant best friends. Keith and I were inseparable – we were with each other all day, every day. He watched my idiot boyfriends come and go and he was there for me through all of the stupid shit 21-year-olds go through. He knew me for who I was deep down inside and he loved me for it. It was a wonderful time in my life.

I’ve decided to answer an LJ “writer’s block” question today. Here we go:

What was the best gift you’ve ever received? Who was it from and what was the occasion?
Well… I wouldn’t say “best” gift. I’ve had so many wonderful gifts over the years that I couldn’t possibly choose the best one. However, I will tell you about one of my favorite and most memorable Christmas gifts.

My Mom:
My mother is crazy. Anyone who has met her will attest to this fact. I didn’t always know which Mom I was going to get on any given day. It was either the sleeping, exhausted Mom (saw her most often), the pissed off at the world Mom (a close second), or the upbeat, cheery Mom (I like her the best!) That said, this crazy woman had the uncanny ability to get the perfect gift for me, no matter which personality was picking it out. Come birthdays and holidays, I was never disappointed in the presents I got from her. (Unfortunately, I did not inherit this ability. I am the worst gift-giver ever.) So, one year for Christmas I was shocked to find that she had only gotten me a few piddly little things – nothing that I even really wanted. I know it sounds like I was a selfish brat – I probably was – but I was really upset! I was probably about 14 years old at the time and I came to conclusion that I must have gotten too old for Christmas gifts. I resigned myself to the fact that this is all I would be getting from here on out: a book or two, a pair of socks, possibly a CD (who am I kidding? It would have been a cassette tape.) I carried on with my day and waited for my parents to wake up.

When my mom and dad finally got out of bed, they called me out of my room to ask how I enjoyed my new gifts. I was as polite as could be expected for a disappointed 14-year-old; I smiled and shrugged and said everything was “ok, I guess.” My mom seemed a little puzzled by my response. She asked me what I got and I told her. Then she told me I was missing something.

I got excited! “What am I missing? Where is it?”
“You will have to find it,” she said.
“What am I looking for?!”
“You will know when you find it.”

Well, this was interesting! I wasn’t too old for Christmas, after all. I had another mysterious (probably amazing!) gift hiding somewhere. I tore apart my house, searching high and low. No gift. I was starting to think they were fucking with me – that they didn’t get me a big, amazing gift after all – when they finally broke down and told me where to look. “Hiding” right out in the open around the corner from the tiny little Christmas tree we had was a big, beautiful, shiny new Casio digital keyboard/synthesizer. This thing had to have cost $500 if it was a penny.

It. Was. Amazing.

I didn’t really know how to play much; I had a toy piano when I was a kid that I used to teach myself a few songs on, then I graduated to a tiny little electric keyboard that I played with all the time. I played by ear – I didn’t know where to put my fingers “correctly” and I knew nothing about reading music, but I could play “Moonlight Sonata,” “Song of Swans” from Swan Lake, and a few other things that I picked up by listening. That instrument was my pride and joy. It was one thing that I never got sick of. I had it for years upon years. Once when I was broke and living on my own, I contemplated selling it. I really needed the money! The used instrument store offered me a couple of hundred bucks for it, but it turned out that I just couldn’t part with it that easily. I’m not sure what happened to that keyboard, actually. I think I may have eventually given it to a friend when I got a new one.

I had two people tell me today that they loved my blog. TWO? In one day?? Now that is enough to give a girl a big head, y’know? Especially since I only have 2 people who actually read this blog. I’ve actually had this blog since 2006, but I only have a handful of entries. I am a terrible blogger. I have absolutely no motivation to write on a regular basis and I don’t have a specific topic to write about. Those are the two most basic requirements in being a blogger! Most girls blog about cooking, crafts, motherhood or how to build a house out of mud and make all of your own food and clothing and other basic hippie garbage. I guess I’ll continue writing about everyday crap and maybe post some more pictures of my jewelry and crafts and junk. Perhaps I can get up to five readers someday! One can only hope…

I have always enjoyed writing – when I was much younger, I wrote (what I thought was) a really good short story. I don’t really remember what it was about, but I do remember it was really sappy and had something to do with wishes and four-leaf clovers. I bet it was horrible. It sounds horrible. I have no idea what happened to that story. When I was in my early 20′s I actually wrote most of a book. It was about drug addiction and lost love and Las Vegas. There was a ceiling fan in the opening paragraph. Riveting stuff, people! I never did finish the book, and again I have no idea what happened to it. I am sensing a pattern here… I never was very good at keeping track of stuff. I’ve lost tons of shit over the years. When I was 18, I got my first apartment. I lost my childhood teddy bear, Dennis, in the move. I cried buckets over that bear. I even placed a “lost” ad in the local newspaper to no avail. Sigh.

Well, you two… thanks for reading once again. I’m heading off to bed now to dream of teddy bears and four-leaf clovers. It will more likely be a dream about drugs and Las Vegas. Or teddy bears in Las Vegas. That’s cool, too.

I’m a bit impressed that this facebook crossposter plugin for my blog (Wordbooker) actually works! I am writing a quickie entry here just to test out it’s various functions. I apologize for hijacking your News Feed with nonsense. You may return to your everyday Facebooking now. Thanks a bunch and have a great day.